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There's Always Be A First Time For Everything

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And as for travelling abroad, for me is Edinburgh... Well, not exactly for travelling. It was for studying, but it also involved a lot of travelling 😜. 10 September 2016 gue mendarat di Edinburgh setelah super long flight CGK- DOH - EDI. Ini pengalaman pertama gue ke luar negeri dan langsung penerbangan panjang, jadi banyak kenorakan yang terjadi dari security check bandara, toilet pesawat, sampe nyari cara gimana sampe ke flat. Untungnya nyampe sana bareng segerombol anak Indo lain yang juga mau kuliah, jadi nggak luntang lantung sendirian. Muka-muka kucel abis long flight, (not-so-) fresh from the airport 🛬 Akhirnya kami milih naik taksi dari bandara ke flat masing-masing. Gue naik taksi bertiga, dan berhubung rutenya flat gue paling jauh dari bandara jadi gue turun terakhir dan yang kebagian bayar taksi. I have no idea what did the driver say with that Scottish accent, I just gave him the only £50 note I had and hope he gave me the change (lol, he did t...

Childhood Legacy

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Dear me, Remember the feeling when you were excluded from any family or household-related problem? the feeling when your absence was not making any difference, or even unnoticeable? The reaction you got when you asked random questions or simply did something differently?  The feeling when you couldn't have your own choices in your mid-20s even after you tried to justify them? That's why you always became morose and silent when you were home, no matter you were having a great day or a shitty one. You became bitter. You can never hold your tears whenever you see a mother-daughter or father-daughter scene even in the movies; Because you always hope that yours are just like them. ** You always said (more like grumbled tho) that you want to parent differently from your parents. You're grateful for having them (--well, maybe not enough), because you know you won't be you if you were born in another family. But improvement here and there won...

Keep Hanging In There!

Dear me, Making plan is just to prepare yourself for the future, not to predict it. It's okay if it turns out to be not exactly like your plan, maybe it just to give you a better result. And if it's not, just be patient because you haven't reached the result yet. ** I'm not trying to brag, tapi kalo sepintas ngeliat highlight milestones hidup gw beberapa tahun ke belakang, mungkin keliatannya mulus banget dibanding sebagian orang lain. Mundur sedikit, taun 2009 dulu pas SMA ada tugas BK bikin "papan doa", semacam mood board life plan gitu lah. Kayaknya  gw masih inget apa yang gw tulis di mood board gw itu: Lulus dengan NEM tinggi (lupa exact   numbernya, kayaknya >48.00) Masuk UI jurusan gizi (padahal pengennya dokter, tapi takut persaingan, cupu emang akutu) Lulus S1 cum laude Kerja di Unilever Kuliah S2 Nikah di umur 27 Punya rumah, mobil, dan 2 anak Well in reality, nothing goes like my plan. Dan nggak semulus yang terlihat. ...

Kenapa Sekarang? -- Tulisan Perdana

I am still in my (so-called) quarter-life crisis. I feel like I need to declutter my mind, organize and keep track of my thoughts. Karena gw udah mulai lupa detail dari hal-hal menyenangkan yang dulu pernah bikin pipi pegel. Tahun lalu itu semacam 1 year living in a fairy tale, and I don't wanna forget any second of it.  Selain karena entah kapan bisa mengalami fase itu lagi, cuma dengan inget-inget momen-momen di taun itu aja udah bisa bikin gw seneng. Karena belakangan ini gw terlalu sering merasa sulit menyampaikan apa yang ada di otak ke orang lain. Seringkali nyesel karena apa yg gw maksud nggak tersampaikan karena ngomongnya belepotan, nggak terstruktur. Karena sulit menemukan jalan pikiran diri sendiri.  Gw pernah sok iye bongkar essay-essay kuliah,  and I don't even remember how can I come up with those ideas , padahal baru 2017 itu gw mikirnya. Bukan cuma tentang apa yang gw pelajari secara akademis, tapi juga selama 26 tahun ini, sebene...